07 January 2009

my academy award

i am not an actor, but if we still had radio plays, i may well could be! i am a master actor when it comes to dealing with people on the phone.

today i managed to cancel a Comcast account in less than 10 minutes AND renegotiate the interest rate on my credit card (i got them to knock off 11.25%!)

i am not sure which i am more proud of. the credit card scoundrels were raising my rates for simply existing during the peak of Free Credit Frenzy. and with Comcast (who will claw you back into their clutches any way possible) i just lied to them. or acted. i acted like i was leaving the country for a few years.

the white lie to escape unwanted services was a technique i developed a few years ago when my former roommate KT was unable to discontinue her AOL account (talk about clawing!). after three attempts by KT, one that resulted in tears, i decided to take her account details and pretend to be her.

i am much meaner that KT when i need to be.

aol: this is so-and-so, how can i help you today?
me: i want to cancel my account.
aol: i am sorry to hear that, what can i do to keep you as a customer?
me: nothing.
aol: well, surely, there must--
me: no. nothing. i am entering hospice care and my doctors have told me to settle my final affairs.
aol: (long silence) well, i am sorry to hear that. may i have your account number please?

KT was shocked and maybe a little appalled, but it worked. and on one level it was also sort of fun. i understand AOL reps have a job to do, but i custmers also need a little respect.

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